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I wondered whether she would have felt as much concern over my being so far away from my mother had I married an Indian.
Or whether a policeman from a Mumbai police station would have muttered under his breath when Aarya went for a no-objection certificate required for her American visa: “What else would you expect from the daughter of divorced parents?
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Then there is patriarchy: Women who venture out of the nest to seek a mate must lack decency.
And there’s the drive towards conformity: The ugly head that raises itself at the sight of anything that dares to deviate from the norm.
“One of them grabbed my other hand and held it very tightly for a few seconds, and ran away,” Pradhan recalled.
”I was so angry that I shrieked, and we ran after them. Then seeing that I was not going to go, he apologised.”Another time, a group of men sneered as they passed by the young couple: “? )”My friend Neha Belvalkar’s first visit to India after two years in a film school in the US was “appalling,” in her words.
One day when walking on a street in Pune, Neha’s hometown, a biker slowed down near the couple and almost hit her. She said she sensed a mix of repressed fury and lust in the man’s tone, when he hissed back: “I will f*** you.”To many Indians, the idea of a mixed-race couple is alien, repulsive even.
Nicholas Chevaillier, my friend Aarya’s French-American husband, has been asked more than once in India where and how he “picked up” the woman he was with.
Her experiences in those two years in Mumbai before the couple moved to Los Angeles forever clouded the way Aarya thought of the city in which she had grown up.“Being with my own husband would make me uncomfortable because men would pass lewd comments with even more alacrity than when I was alone,” said Aarya.
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